Something that I grew up hearing from my father was to never despise the days of small beginnings. Now here I am seeing graduation looming in the months ahead and wondering what my place in the professional world of theatre will be. This perhaps is a feeling that many new graduates feel. The feeling that the work I do will no longer be done for evaluation, or a grade but will be critiqued as though I know what I am doing. That the room for error will grow smaller as people take me seriously for every mistake or success I make. Perhaps every new grad begins to realize that studying isn't the reality. Yet I do believe that on some level there will never be an end to learning. At least I hope not.
Confidence is really key I believe when it comes to believing in myself. Not the false confident exterior that says I'm trying to look like I know it all or that I'm not going to listen because I have to believe that I know it all. But a self assured knowledge that I am capable of the task ahead of me. This is what I am trying to remember when it comes to completing the requirements for graduation at Rosebud School of the Arts. Producing and acting in a show may have this vibe of self assurance but already there have been many tears shed. Some low points of really feeling lost and then pep talking myself and reminding myself that I can do this. A spirit of graditude really goes a long way in healing the overwhelmed soul. For me being grateful reminds me that I get to do what I love to do. So come 2020 and throw at me all the challenges you hold because I really do want to be a theatre artist. I will fail, just like a little child taking their first step means falling is the consequence they undoubtedly will endure, so I take the many first tasks know that from my failures there is much to learn.